


i got rage every day (on the inside)

by IrreverentFangirl



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Lich!Taako, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Tazswap, hes fine tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-13 12:46:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14112651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrreverentFangirl/pseuds/IrreverentFangirl
Summary: If Lup and Barry thought they could just become liches on their own, they had another thing coming.Of course Taako never thought that he'd be forced to forget everything. Nor did he think he was gonna die at Glamor Springs.





	1. Prologue The First - The Stolen Century: Becoming a Lich

**Author's Note:**

> a lot of this is mostly thanks to the taz fic writers discord so thx loves <3
> 
> special thanks to [jimiheadkicks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jimiheadkicks/works?fandom_id=9437596) for giving it a beta read!

**_I got rage every day, on the inside_ **

_ The only thing I do is sit around and kill time _

_ I'm trying to blow out the pilot light _

_ I'm trying to blow out the light  _

**_**_-Champion_ ** **_Fall Out Boy_ ** _ **

 

_ “We’re gonna become liches, Taako. And that sounds— that sounds way scarier than it actually is, but… we’re, we’re going to take our living essence, our… souls… and combine it with our magical essence and… we’re gonna become something… new. Something… something powerful.  _

_ “And… we’ll still be Barry and Lup, I’ll still inhabit my body— unless I’m killed— and then things are going to get a little spooky, and, it should stick. If we do this, the next cycle, we’re still liches. The— the risk is— it’s hard to combine your soul with raw power and keep your mind right. You need something keeping your feet on the ground. An emotional anchor. And when I go all ghosty, I need to have things to remember to hold on to who I am. Today is… it’s gonna be one of those memories.  _

_ “Barry already gave me a day. And… I love him, Taako, with all of my heart, but you… I needed a day from you, because you are my heart. You know that, right?”  (The Stolen Century, Episode 65) _

Taako stared at Lup for a moment, completely silent, before saying, “Yeah. I get it Lup, you’re my heart too. But if you think, even for a goddamned moment, that I’m just gonna let you and Barold become fucking  _ liches  _ without me, then you have another thing coming.” 

He’s shaking. 

Lup looked taken aback, like she didn’t anticipate this. How could she not have anticipated this? Did she not know him at fucking all? “Koko, babes,” she began, but Taako didn’t let her finish. 

“Mm-mm,” he said. “Nope, Lulu. I may not be a genius like you and Barry, but I’m not an idiot either. I listen when you and Barry talk and I’ve heard what bad shit liches are. You guys aren’t doing that without me. Nope. No way.” 

Lup took a deep breath and ran her hand through her thickly coiled blonde hair. “Taako, you don’t have a tether! Bear and I have been working so hard to create stronger bonds so that we won’t lose our shit when we transform and you haven’t! You can’t just  _ become  _ a lich!” 

Taako snorted. “Babe, Taako can do anything.” 

“No! You can’t!” Lup shouted, gritting her teeth. 

Taako closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had to convince Lup this was a good idea because once he did, she’d be able to help him convince Barry. And that meant letting his guard down and telling her how it was. Taako hated letting his guard down, even with her. She was so attuned to him that most of the time he didn’t have to, but it looked like this was gonna be an exception. He opened his eyes and began.

“Lup, I  _ have  _ bonds. I don’t say this and you of all people know why I don’t, but I love our crew so fucking much. I’m close to them, in a way that scares me shitless. Lucy is basically like a second sister to me and I don’t even know how to explain how I feel about Mags and Barold. I love them, like, a lot. So yeah, this is gonna fucking suck and it’s gonna be hard. Hachi machi, it’s gonna be so fucking hard. But I know I can do it.” 

By the time he finished, Lup was staring at him. There was an expression of shock on her face which slowly, gradually was replaced with understanding. “Okay,” she said. “This is supes fucking stupid, but okay. We can do this, Koko.” 

He nodded. “I know, Lulu.” 

She wrapped an arm around his waist and he leaned his head against her shoulder.

They didn’t go to tell Barry right away. For awhile they just sat together, Lup’s arm around Taako’s waist and Taako’s head on Lup’s shoulder. They soaked in each other’s undivided attention. But soon enough it was time to tell him and so they did, together. 

Barry wasn’t happy about it and he argued fiercely. But he was worn down eventually and he agreed to allow Taako to join them after days of disagreeing. 

It was only a few days later that they were able to perform the ceremony, even with Taako being included last minute. All three of them were on top of a grassy hill that allowed a lot of ceremony, standing side-by-side. Lup reached down and entangled their hands all together before leaning over and kissing Barry softly. “You ready? Are— are you guys sure you’ll be able to keep it together, once you turn?” 

Taako and Barry both turned to her, the center of their worlds, and they nodded. Barry said, “Yeah, I got this.” 

And seconds later, it started. Taako didn’t know how to describe it, not exactly. It was almost like his magic had become fully sentient and like it was ripping apart his body, molecule by molecule. He had died so many times but this was somehow worse because it just hurt  _ so. fucking. much.  _

But he got through it. His body fell and he was free of it and he was out of control. He was lost. There was no Taako because all that existed was magic. He was pure magic and he was powerful. 

But he reigned it in. He focused on his sister, on himself, on his family of decades and he managed to reign it in. Suddenly there he was, back with his brother and sister and they are all different. They are spectral features wearing only their IPRE robes and they look like skeletons but in reality they are pure magic. 

Barry just nodded at them but Lup - fucking  _ Lup  _ \- she dabbed. Taako snorted at her and raised a single skeletal finger to show her how he felt about that and they all returned to their bodies. 

It’s weird, having a physical form again after shedding it, but Taako relished the return of his aesthetic, of his brand. 

They didn’t tell anyone at first. It was a peaceful year until the Hunger attacked and they flew off in the Starblaster. They are thousands of miles away from the ground when Lup turned to him and she  _ grinned,  _ a knife-sharp baring of her teeth that he understood immediately. And she said, “Let’s see what these babies can do.” 

And together, they stepped backwards off the ship and fell out of sight of their team. They emerge from their bodies and they go fucking  _ wild.  _ Lup thrust one fist in the air and she used all of her magic to set her column on flame and Taako focused on his own. He summoned all the power within and he cast disintegrate. 

The Hunger devoured them of course. But seconds later they were on the Starblaster and they were grinning with abandon. 

Lup said, “Okay. Blowing it up and disintegrating it didn’t exactly work. But we’re close. We’re real fucking close.” 


	2. Prologue The Second - Glamor Springs: Becoming a Lich, Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Taako fucking dies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, thanks to [jimiheadkicks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jimiheadkicks/works?fandom_id=9437596) for giving it a beta read!

Taako wasn’t nervous, like, at all. He had done shows like Glamor Springs a million times before and he would do them a million times again. 

Behind him, Sazed was preparing their appliances. “Love, the show is about to start,” Sazed said. “You ready?” 

Taako laughed. “Saz, babe, Taako’s always ready. You should know this by now.” 

Taako didn’t see Sazed’s response but he’s sure the wood elf sent him a fond smile, the way he always did when he thought Taako was being ridiculous. Taako wasn’t being ridiculous, of course. His confidence was well-earned because he was a fucking  _ baller  _ chef and he knew it too. 

If he wasn’t such a good chef then there was no reason why he would be even half as popular as he was, after all. People  _ loved  _ Taako, because Taako was fucking lovable and awesome and his food was the  _ actual  _ shit. Anyone who disagreed could fuck right off. 

Sazed walked up behind him, slipped his lean arms around Taako’s waist, and rested the tip of his chin against Taako’s shoulder. “It’s time, Taako. Everyone’s here, the seats are all full. Lets go.” 

Taako nodded, turning around to brush his lips against Sazed’s before escaping his grip and walking up to the curtains that hid his caravan from the audience. He took a deep breath and grinned, cheesing it up with absolutely no shame. With an elaborate flourish, he parted the curtains using Mage Hand and appeared before the audience. 

Sazed had been right. The seats, all forty of them, were completely full.  _ Nice.  _

“Hail and well met, my dudes! Taako’s here to show you how to make some fucking amazing chicken!” 

The audience burst into applause, cheering and screaming and stomping their feet. Fuck yeah, Taako was  _ loved.  _

All in all, it was a typical show. Taako was cheesy and over-dramatic and his dish came together like an art. The audience responded well to his jokes, laughing at all the right spots, and on the edge of their seats. 

It didn’t take long for the chicken to be done and for Taako to add the garnish. “Ok, m’dudes. I’mma take a taste of what I’m sure is gonna be a rad chicken and then I’ll hand out samples for all of you to try it too!” 

The audience clapped. Taako took his fork, stabbed it into the chicken to rip out a good sized bite, and put it in his mouth, chewing and swallowing it dramatically. Then he froze. 

It was delicious of course. He knew how to make chicken. But something about it tasted...off. Something about it was wrong and he didn’t know what it was. 

Unluckily for him, the poison in the chicken was fast acting. He opened his mouth to say something, he wasn’t sure what, and he promptly retched blood. He fell to the ground, spasming. 

And that’s how Taako fucking died. 

Of course, seconds later he rose from his deceased body. The audience couldn’t see him, too busy freaking out and screaming at the top of their lungs at the sight of him dying. For a minute, little changed. 

Then Taako began to remember. 

He remembered  _ everything.  _ He remembered Lup - fuck, how could he have forgotten  _ Lup  _ \- and he remembered his team and he remembered the century of dying and fleeing from The Hunger. 

He remembered his team deciding to stay on this realm and he remembered the chaos he caused. He remembered his sister disappearing and he remembered his and Barry’s sleepless weeks of searching for her nonstop. 

And he remembered forgetting. Which was an inherently paradoxical statement. How could one remember the action of forgetting? Maybe it was because the forgetting wasn’t natural, wasn’t just his brain shifting things around and getting rid of the things that weren’t as important. This was forced on him and he didn’t  _ fucking  _ appreciate it. 

He knew who made him forget. He knew who decided to tear apart his brain and make him forget all the good things in his life, leaving only the pain. 

It was Lucretia. She had done this because she didn’t approve of their choices. So she had taken them into her own hands. 

He would never forgive her for this. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope y'all enjoyed! leave me a review if you did <3

**Author's Note:**

> all credit to griffin for the parts i lifted directly (or mostly directly) from the podcast. there wasn't a lot, but there was some.
> 
> please leave a review if you liked it <3 or come yell at me at [my tumblr](http://daughterofthemyscira.tumblr.com/).


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